MY NEW CRACKPOT THEORY: Canton Everett Delaware III’s son is Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD. Canton’s the bio-dad; his partner’s name is Coulson. So Phil ended up with one dad’s hairline (and dress sense…) and the other dad’s surname. The reason why Agent Phil Coulson is so good at dealing with weird shit is that he fucking grew up with it. Because don’t tell me that Canton wasn’t recruited by SHIELD as soon as he got fired from the FBI. He helped a bunch of time-travelers deal with an alien invasion, stood up to the President of the United States, and did it all without batting an eyelid. CLEARLY PHIL COULSON’S PERPETUAL, FAINTLY-SMILING CALM IS A GENETIC TRAIT.
Been my head canon forever. About Canton and his husband coming home one rainy night, hearing a strange noise behind the dumpster by their flat, and finding a small, bedraggled boy, around seven or eight years old. And of course they’d bring him home with them, and dry him, and make him take a bath and warm up, and dress him in too-big pjs. And Canton’s husband would worry, and find it hard to go to sleep, and Canton, because he’s badass like that, will still be awake when Phil (they’ve only just managed to get that name out of him) wakes up on the sofa, gets up and changes back in the filthy clothes that Canton’s husband had bundled up and shoved in the bathroom, to be thrown out in the morning. And Phil is a tough kid, okay, he knows how the world works, he knows there’s no way these two kind people will let him stay; it’s better to slip out while he still can, before they’ve called anyone. Of course, he hasn’t bargained for Canton Everet Delaware III and how much Canton loves his husband, who is a sucker for lost causes and underdogs. :’)))))))
I…. may have thought about this a time or two. Er.